White/black/Hispanic men aren't obsessed with Asian women.
Tldr; unfamiliarity and stereotypes
As far as only white men, I can assure you that other men(black, Hispanic, etc) can obsess over Asian women as well. When I was in college there was a black guy that was completely fixated on Asian girls. Same for middle eastern guys, but lesser again due to sheer numbers.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
I've written this before but I'll write it again.
This can cause all sorts of things to go south fast. I had all Hispanic neighbors for awhile, and several were absolutely convinced that my wife was going to be stuck up and cold to them, since for the most part, interactions between Hispanics and Asians around here are transactional in nature. This couldn't be farther from the truth. My wife absolutely adored several of their kids, and always brought something to our monthly barbecue that we all enjoyed. Her name is not readily pronounceable in Spanish, or for that matter English, so she quickly earned the nickname “la China” out of affection. When we had kids, several of the ladies stepped in to help out, and they quickly realized that my wife had all the issues they had and was happy for their assistance. Seeing her as a mother like they were really cemented that they had a lot more in common than they thought. Most of those that moved away have stayed in touch with her, mostly because she endeared herself to them so much.
They're obsessed with the idea of Asian women.
Valerie Bertinelli Shares the Trader Joe’s Snack She’s ‘Addicted’ to — and Walked Around a Store 3 Times to Find - AOL.com
I'm saying this as a Hispanic man married to an Asian woman.
So yeah, there's an obsession there among some men of all stripes but not really with the reality.
I think it's lesser in most Hispanic communities because there's lots of ladies that can have extremely similar traits(black hair, lithe frame, epicanthic fold) but I've had several Hispanic guys ask me about dating Chinese women after meeting my wife. Plus, relationships between Hispanic and Asian people tend to be restricted to the aforementioned transactional interactions only due to language issues. However, when language isn't an issue you do see more relationships.
I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?
The Internet has done some awful things to Asian women, and it's rife with stereotypes. Many times Asian women are portrayed as corny caricatures thanks to anime, pornography, and Hollywood. They're often the dragon lady that knows martial arts or the super smart but hot girl but in any case still sexualized in an odd submissive/dominant role.
That's the issue. Men aren't really equipped to deal with Asian women most of the time and they get their information from crap sources. They don't want a real woman that happens to be Asian, they want this weird illusion that they've seen in porn, video games, or anime. I've been asked countless times “what's it like being married to a Chinese girl?” IDK honestly. I've only ever married her. Men that fetishize women for whatever reason don't tend to have long term relationships with these women once the novelty wears off.
Unfortunately, for most of the country, encounters with Asian people, and Asian women are severely limited due to the overall low percentages of Asian women in most of the USA. Interactions are often limited to picking up your order of fried rice at the local takeout place.
How do people who are deaf learn sign language? Is it typically taught by parents at a young age or are there programs available for learning it later in life?
This leads men to try to fill in the blanks and that rarely ends well. As I've said before, my godfather, after meeting my GF (now wife) said to me “she's the first Asian girl I've ever had a conversation with” and that's true for a lot of people.
On actually dealing with Asian women 1x1 a lot of men find that they're really no different from other women, and sometimes that's a disappointment. My best friend is Asian(different country) and even I was surprised to see his tiny sister working on her car back in high school(something I deemed extremely un-asian girl like back then) so I'm not free of stereotypes either but at least I was more prepared when I dated my wife. The stereotypes of people can be a real hindrance to relationships.
